im not ur personal Porcelain Ragdoll

Friday, June 23, 2006

my story 4

5 days later, i decided to take a breather and go out by myself..
popular was my initial idea.. juz go over and get a cd..
then i though, maybe i could drop by MP library, get myself a few craft bks and then head over to popular to get a cd and some materials to do sth..

i did just that...
but i failed to find the kind of craft bk i had in mind.. neither could i find those on fashion design..
i juz kept browsing and walked all over aimlessly..

then i bumped into an old fren.. he was there studying with 2 others..
reluctantly went over to say hi..
well.. at this stage, wad else can u ask other then "how's ur revision?"
yea.. i was afraid tt qns would pop out..
so it did..

so i told them...

...
...
...

they say it's fate...
with a little hope and some strength..
now the final decision is to go back schooling..

1 1/2 yrs of battle fought.. maybe i'll just lose to mid-terms and get back on my feet again and fight another 4 months..
if i quit now.. i still need to wait 9 months..
mite as well get on and juz try the A's and if i wan to go poly, i still can do that..
most impt as ck stressed... " money already paid, cannot take back! "

i outcasted myself from others previously not wanting to make known wad horridness i was gonna do because i noe that there will be alot of other opinions which will juz make me confused all over again...

i suffered again that night..
thinking and thinking.. juz wad is right and wad is wrong...

...
...

on which side is the grass greener...........??

i couldn't avoid avoiding THE OTHERS....
i can't help but wonder if god still stands by me..
because i met them..
..gave them a chance to tiao bo my decision again..
..forced to choose jc...

does fate really work???

i wouldnt know yet...

befairtomyself.illgiveittillendoftheyrandiguessiwillonlyknowifidomanagetogothroughalvls..

do u believe in fate???

precious porcelain ragdoll
1:37 AM