im not ur personal Porcelain Ragdoll

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Effect and Cause

don't know why all of a sudden i'm thinking bout these...
or the past....

i was a bad bad person...

sry for not knowing how to appreciate things u've done and u guys as my friends..

this adversity has made me realised how much u all still care for me..
and it'll be better if we forget the unhappy past...
actually i've forgotten..
no maybe not.. it was then when i was reading through all the letters that i remembered..
it's juz that we won't even think about such matters now..
and when we don't... we thought we forgot..

ha, but some of the heart breaking moments actually felt like sweet memories of the past now...
SORRY i had to be lidat then!!!
even till now.. i think i still am.. actually i was again a few months back...
but i guess the person's found the treasure already.. so good for u!

however, now.. maybe just for now..
i'd like to try.. and juz try...
could be the outcome is what i always thought it would be and therefore am afraid..
but in reality.. i'll nv actually know if don't allow it to happen right??
maybe i should just ask..
be straightforward and frank...

but then again... it's juz like so god damn hard for me to say sth or anything about this condition..
since it's the cause of every negative effect on me...
hai.. so then again.. it'll probably nv happen anymore..
it's juz getting worst... and so would i...
and as people grow older.. it's so much harder to make friends..

i can only start to be me when they're hidden... ???

precious porcelain ragdoll
9:11 PM